Mourning the Loss: An insight into the chronic pain experience

For many of us, the entire chronic pain experience exists within the context of great loss. The challenges of living in pain can slowly creep in and take over every aspect of our lives, forcing us to give up on everything that feels essential to who we are, from our hobbies and careers to our […]

Energy Management: How to Choose from a Place of Power

I was once in the midst of a difficult flare up that forced me into bed for a few days straight. I missed a work deadline, my sister’s graduation, and a friend’s birthday party, but I knew that, no matter how I was feeling, I could not not miss my cousin’s wedding at the end […]

You Are Not a Burden

Whether real or imagined, received from media or from interactions with people in their lives, it is not uncommon for people living with chronic pain to get the message that they are “too much” or “overly needy” and that they should really just “suck it up” and “learn to be independent.” When internalized over many […]

Chronic Pain and Intimate Relationships: A heartbreaking game of hide and seek

A well-known anonymous quote reads, “Once you accept the reality that even between the closest human beings, infinite distances continue, a wonderful relationship can grow.” As humans, building intimate relationships is one of the most difficult tasks we take on in our lives – yet we are wired to do it anyway. How can we […]

Chronic Pain & Sex: The Myth And Shame Of Sexual Normativity

You know that scene in what seems like every movie of all time? The one where the main character and their love interest start passionately making out, knocking over glasses, bumping into walls, and frantically discarding their clothing as they head for the bedroom? Then, with literally zero foreplay, they’re suddenly having sex and within […]

Stepping Back To See A Way Forward

You’re making breakfast, getting your kids to school, going to work, sitting through a long day, picking up your kids from school, buying your groceries, making dinner, doing laundry, and the list of tasks seems to never end. All day you have pain shooting through your body, screaming for your attention at every moment. The […]

The Cycle of Chronic Pain, Fear, and Trauma

Imagine this scene: A man is using a public shower on the beach to wash up after swimming: he puts shampoo in his hair, rubs it in, and then puts his head under the running water to rinse it out. What he doesn’t know, however, is that as he’s trying to rinse out the shampoo, […]

The Pain Identity: Finding Balance In Our Relationship With Pain

Living with chronic pain can feel like being forced to wear glasses that distort the way that we experience life. Looking through the lens of pain for long enough, we may forget that we’re wearing glasses and that we live with our pain, rather than living as our pain. It’s also possible that we dislike […]

Fear: A Spotlight On What Matters To Us Most

“Everyone is afraid of something. We fear things because we value them. We fear losing people because we love them. We fear dying because we value being alive. Don’t wish you didn’t fear anything. All that would mean is that you didn’t feel anything. (Cassandra Clare)” Fear, in the right proportions, is perhaps the greatest […]

When The Medical System Isn’t Enough

Oh, the medical system. How we with chronic pain depend on it, and how we wish we didn’t have to. Sometimes it comes through for us; we get the right diagnosis, the right prescription – the right care. Too often, however, those are the expectations we carry into our appointments, only to leave feeling frustrated, […]